New Year's Day Peanut Butter Chip Chase 5K

For the past 29 years in This Tiny Town, the local Lions Club has organized a 5K foot race called the Peanut Butter Chip Chase. Some of you might know that The Man is a runner, so every year since we've lived here he has run in this race and done fairly well.

At the end of the race the organizers award medals to top finishers – overall and age groups. The medals are little plastic chocolate chip cookies on ribbons. The Man usually places in his age group.

One of the other prizes given is for the first Tiny Town resident to cross the finish line. This prize is not only a plastic cookie on a ribbon but also a large baked chocolate chip cookie about the size of a small pizza. The big cookie is home-made by another Tiny Town resident, so that's pretty cool. And guess who has won the big Tiny Town cookie since we've lived here. If you guess The Man, you would be correct.

The Man has been involved in a lot of races since we've moved here. At these events you tend to see the same people again and again and the P'nut Butter Chip Chase is no exception. During the past year we noticed that this little blonde girl has been entering a lot of these races. She's so small, she looks like she's 7 years old but she's really 10. And she's amazing. She can finish a 5K in about 27 minutes which means she is doing 9 minute miles which means she is going faster than 6 mpg which means she's better runner than most people. And all at 10 years old. And she's super cute! She's also got a 14 year old brother who is also an excellent runner.

So once again this morning, The Man won the big cookie. After he received it I saw The Little Runner Girl eyeing the cookie in such a way that she looked like a hungry little waif which was too adorable. He mother scolded her very lightly about eyeing the big cookie and sort of chuckled to us. As we were walking to the car this poor Little Runner Girl just couldn't keep her eyes off the cookie. At that point I said to The Man, "Should we give her the cookie?" I mean, we don't really need this big cookie. It's just a bunch of sugar, fat and calories we don't need. I figured it would probably give a kid more joy than it would give us. So The Man grabbed the big cookie and ran over to where The Little Runner Girl and her mom were getting into their car and offered it to them. He asked The Little Runner Girl, "Would you like this cookie?" And she shyly nodded her head yes. Too cute for words.

Avoiding the Title "Craziest Lady in Tiny Town"

Recently at Town Meeting we passed the Tiny Town budget for 2006, although we passed the AMENDED budget. See some of the original budget numbers were changed because This Tiny Town had already used up 1/3 of its legal fees budget for the year. "How did that happen?" you might ask. Well, seems that there is a citizen that is causing some legal woes for This Tiny Town.

It all started with the renovation of the town hall. For some reason there are people here that are doing a lot of different things to block the restoration. Seems crazy doesn't it? Why would anyone want to stop the restoration of an old building that is an important part of the history of This Tiny Town? There are only 2 reasons I can think of – control and craziness.

One lady in town is challenging the issuance of the building permit for the town hall. This has caused the town officials to consult with the town lawyer. And when they do that they have to pay him. And this has been going back and forth for a while. At Town Meeting someone asked the Select Board why the legal fees were being used up so quickly and the Board said that they really couldn't talk about it (since stuff might go to litigation). I think the person just really wanted the Board to say something about the person who is challenging the building permit.

A lot of people in This Tiny Town who know the lady better than I do are starting to speculate that she needs medication. Apparently she spends a lot of time looking for things she can make legal cases out of. She spends a lot of time making enemies. Recently she wrote a letter to the editor saying that the reason the town has already spent a lot of the legal budget has to do with UNNECESSARY consultation with legal council. She never mentions her role in all of it though. It was a pretty obvious attempt to divert blame off of herself and back onto the Select Board. The letter is really funny. At one point she says that the Select Board doesn't need to ask a lawyer questions related to legal issues and that members of other governing boards in town could provide the answers. But then later in her letter she says that Tiny Town employees don't know anything about the law. Sounds a little mixed up to me. Or crazy.

Spelling Skills Going Down Down Down

So I was hoping to get a picture of the sign that the Dumbest Man in Tiny Town had outside his ramshackle home but unfortunately he's taken it down. It was a piece of plywood with a spray painted message. The message read:

Taxs
 going

up

up

up

No that is not a typo. He spelled "taxes" wrong. I really wish I had gotten a picture.

I Don't Want This Tiny Town to Grow

One of the big controversies in This Tiny Town recently has been a proposed (now approved) Planned Residential Development (PRD) on the north part of town.

Before going any farther I'll just give you an overview of a PRD as it is allowed in This Tiny Town. You take the area of a big chunk of land and subtract out any un-developable land like waterways and slopes greater than 25%. Then you take what is left and divide the acreage by the minimum allowable lot size for which that area is zoned. And that equals the maximum number of dwellings you can build on the land. (150 acres to start – 50 acres of ponds = 100 acres /5 acres per lot = 20 houses). That sounds reasonable, right? But wait, a PRD then allows the developer to cluster all the houses on lots smaller than the actual zoned lot size as long as the left over area that is not built on gets protected as open space. (20 houses on 2 acre lots leaves 60 acres of protected open space) Even that sounds pretty good. But now to get into the controversy…

OK, here's the controversy, this PDR is being built in an area, practically on the slopes of Pack Monadnock and the houses are going to be clustered on 2-acre lots. Normally the houses in that area would be built on 5-acre lots but because this is a PRD the lots are going to be 2 acre lots and all right next to each other (reminds me of all the new developments in NJ). Also because of their placement, the Wapack trail that runs over Pack Monadnock and Temple Mountain are going to have a clear view of the houses (not very pretty). Oh, did I mention that there's going to be 34 houses? $500,000 houses? All clustered together? Here's an artist's rendition of what that might look like.

The people who live over that side of town aren't very happy. I'm not real happy either because this is the type of development I hated in NJ. Although one might say, "Hey, but there's going to be protected open space!" Well, the answer is that the open space isn't there for anyone to really enjoy. Actually the space will belong to the residents of the development and they can bar anyone else from using it. I'm not even sure that the land is in protected permanently. There's a possibility that the homeowner's association could sell it or whatever in the future. Open or not it would still be considered private land. But I have a way to thwart them. When most of the development has been built, I am going to leave a geocache in their "open space". Maybe even more than one. Then hopefully lots and lots of people will go there and enjoy the open space. Perhaps I shouldn't encourage tons of people to tromp through the woods, but it just bugs me that there's going to be a suburb on the north side of This Tiny Town.

Some Answers

I might as well answer a few questions that have com up.

In reference to this post, yoko asked, "Democracy in action. About how many people actually show up to these town meetings?"

The answer is that about 25-30% of registered voters show up at town meeting. That's about 200-300 people. We have them in the all-purpose room at the elementary school.

In reference to this post, Peth asked, "Does this gossip have anything to do with Prince Rogers Nelson and/or chocolate-flavored ready-whip?"

The answer is I don't think so but who can tell.

In reference to the same post, snacks asked, "Any satanic cult stories or children of the corn kids running a muck?"

The answer is not so far to both. I will tell you, though, that some of the people around here seem a little inbred; that is they seem dumb and weird looking. They might be satanic but I think they are just Republicans. As for children, they don't run amuck in This Tiny Town, but they do run amuck in the next town over which also has a high percentage of deeply religious Christians. That's almost like a cult.

You Didn't Hear it From Me

So I went to a huge party at the new Selectman's house. There were lots of fine people there - all intelligent and interesting. I made a couple quiches for the party and the ham and apple one seemed to be a favorite.

But first let me tell you about the new Selectman's house. Something you should know about the new Selectman and his wife is that they are loaded *ka-ching, ka-ching* but they are really nice, really down to earth people. About 4 years ago they completed building the house they live in now. The first time after I had been in this house I had a disagreement with my spouse as to whether the house was a very old house that had been refurbished, or a brand new house. See I thought that it was an old house because who now a-days builds a new Federal style house? And geez the floors are chestnut! And the wallpaper is made of strange little sheets instead of coming off one big roll! And the detail on the woodwork! Anyway, it turns out that they have this huge brand new Federal style house that has a ton of period details in it. Really magnificent. They only thing that might give it away as a new house is all the recessed lighting.

So while we were there a couple people started recounting some unpleasant stories about my mechanic (who was the other candidate for Selectman but lost). Now, I like hearing gossip (just like I like going through medicine cabinets in other people's homes), but I usually don't spread gossip, but at the same time it always makes me feel a little weird to listen to gossip. So previously, before the whole election thing, I was reconsidering taking our cars to my mechanic anyway. See the last few times I've taken a car there they've either misdiagnosed the problem or the car would come back home with a different problem (albeit a minor one). So I've been having this grumbling feeling that either my mechanic and his crew are maliciously screwing up or they are just incompetent. Either way, I would like to go somewhere that fixes my car right the first time. So between poor customer satisfaction and that my mechanic can be a prick I'm thinking about dumping him. And unfortunately the timing isn't really good coming so close behind the elections. It's going to look like I am completely jumping camp. And if I do this, it's not like I can avoid him - this is a Tiny Town.

Anyway if you are wondering about the gossip, it had to do with why the Town Moderator is no longer married…

Correction

I can be so flakey sometimes...
We don't say "yea" or "nay" at Town Meeting. We say "aye" or "nay".